living in pandora's box

Thinking about yesterday’s blog, I’ve realized that perhaps books and movies have these fairytale endings to keep reminding us that no matter what happens, everything is going to work out. Maybe not in the way we desire, but always in the way it should and the way it’s meant to be and the way that’s best for us. 

So on to today’s post…

You can have all the riches in the world, good health, the greatest friends and the best family, but when it comes to inner happiness, sometimes none of this matters. Not even your F&Fs.

Because the heart wants what the heart wants and the mind will always be muted in this internal battle. Why is the world offering you a bouquet of lilies when all you need and want is a single rose?

At the risk of sounding ungrateful, you’d go as far as to say nothing else matters but this heavy weight on your heart. It seems to have put a damper on the rest of the world. The television doesn’t interest you, the food doesn’t taste like it should, and socializing is a torturous pretence.

Is it merely the fact that you want what you can’t have? Has it consumed you so much that you’ve deceived yourself into thinking that this is the only thing that’ll bring you happiness? Is it the thrill of the chase? I can tell you now that there’s nothing exciting about waking up in tears, aching from an emptiness that is peppered by the feeling of patheticness and stupidity and disappointment in yourself because you know you’re above this desperation.

Maybe it’s just that you're tired of always having happiness dangled in your face and then snatched away as soon as you begin to enjoy it. Unlike wanting something you never had, the feeling of wanting back what you did have is far worse. It’s not that you didn’t appreciate it while you had it so why was it taken away? What’s the point? Is it to teach you that you were happy before and you can still be happy without? How many thousands of times have you taken that class? So why whenever you’re strong and content, must all this happen again to make you feel worthless and cause you to question whether you deserve to be happy at all?

Perhaps you’ll be lucky enough to realize that all this sadness and pining ain’t worth it and that it’s boring pursuing something that’s out of your reach. This can only happen if you stop amidst your tears and start listing all the wonderful things in life that you’re grateful for.

“You can't always get what you want.
But if you try sometimes
You just might find
You get what you need.” ~The Rolling Stones

I know it’s difficult to see the positive when you’re under a blanket of self-pity or self-loathing and despair. Maybe now would be a good time to watch or read something with a happily ever after. There’s a likelihood that it’ll leave you with some hope. It’s the one thing we have left at the bottom of Pandora’s box.

Keep reading.