still hungry. still foolish.

I found a picture of the back page of  The Whole Earth Catalogue. The one mentioned in yesterday's blog entry. Not exactly what I imagined lol. Enjoy peeps :)

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Someone found this speech to be touching and motivational and shared it with me and so I wanted to share it with you guys.

This is the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960′s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.”

Brilliant, right?

Keep reading.

Are we the next Zimbabwe?

A few weeks ago, we all got a message about our dear Madiba passing away. It was a hoax though (some people need to get lives). But, this week he was admitted to hospital and it has caused somewhat of a panic. I respect the man, I love him for what he did for us, but why are we gripped with fear at the thought of him dying?

“African National Congress spokesman Jackson Mthembu urged people not to make unfounded statements, “let's remain calm and not press panic buttons because there is no reason to do so".”

Why are we urged not to cause alarm? Is their going to be some sort of adverse reaction from the general public? Are they scared something bad will happen? I hope not. It will be really sad if he dies, but did we honestly expect him to stay forever? We’re all destined for death one day, people. It’s the cycle of life.

All this talk of Madiba got me thinking of all my “issues” with this country.

We have emerged as a leading political and economic force; opportunities for business, trade and cultural exchanges are increasing significantly. Business people, academics and tourists have flooded the country. But are the conditions for most of the South African population worse today than under apartheid? Has the current government left the majority of its people worse off than before?

“Many people around the world who supported the struggle against South Africa’s apartheid system erroneously believe that since the installation of Nelson Mandela and the African National Congress in 1994 conditions have improved. However, the reality is the opposite. Many workers say life in South Africa today is worse than apartheid." ~Wendy Snyder

The World Cup was amazing. It really showed how happy and united we can all be. It made us all proud to be here and to be part of something so momentous. I had my doubts before the “kick-off” but was pleasantly surprised at how it all came together. But it’s over now, and what we’re left with is the cold, hard truth: nothing else has changed.

"Crime is fast destroying the moral fabric of South African cities, and is becoming a major threat to South African democracy as well as the prominent manifestation of a “class war” that is largely a continuation of the “race war” of yesterday." ~Achille Mbembe

There’s a different kind of “Apartheid” going on in our country. If you count freedom from the day Nelson Mandela became president, we’ve been liberated for almost 17 years. Yet the people do nothing but blame the old regime for all their problems. Nevermind that they’ve had enough time to start afresh, educate themselves and reap the available opportunities. And all this BEE nonsense sickens me. Although it’s in my favour, I think it’s prejudiced against “non-blacks”. Are they seriously trying to eradicate the effects of Apartheid by a new altered “acceptable” discrimination?

And don’t even get me started on the crime. We are not free. We are victims, terrorised by corruption and injustice. We are now prisoners of fear. Fear for our lives, the lives of our loved ones, our property and our hard-earned possessions. We walk around on eggshells everyday, holding our breaths, wondering if we’re going to be attacked at any moment. How is this in any way healthy? It’s ridiculous to live always wringing our hands Lady-Macbeth-like in trepidation. 

The sad truth is: crime pays. In fact weren’t we told that if we don’t like the crime we should move out of the country? The government won’t do anything about crime because it generates millions for them. They make money from the citizens who own homes, businesses and cars, which require security fences, alarms, armed responses, tracking devices, insurance, etc. Even after a crime occurs they benefit, from estate duties, medical costs, replacing stolen property, police force, etc. They are profiting from crime. And it’s sick, immoral and unconstitutional.

Our current president is the perfect example of how preposterous the situation has become! I’m not saying we were better off before. Racism makes my blood boil. I think what we have here are two tribulations and you can decide which is the lesser evil.

Well that’s my say on the matter. A bit heavy for a Friday afternoon perhaps.

I got the most thoughtful gift from a friend yesterday. A copy of  “He’s Just Not That Into You”. Can’t wait to read it. Expect some quotes soon. Tonight however, it looks like I’m forced to attend some massive farewell party. The last thing I need is to be stuck in a tent with my ex, his fiancé and all his relatives, but I have to grin and bare it.

Unless one of you has a brilliant way out for me? 

Help!!!

Get well soon, Madiba.

Keep reading.

inner peace

It's crazy to think that one week you're falling in love with a person, and the next, you hate him more and more everyday. A million questions run through your head. 

Why did he promise you the world than drop you like a hot cake?

Isn't he missing you?

Did you really mean so little?

Are you that insignificant?

And then the anger sets in.

He's a coward, a quitter, he's laughing at you right now.

Was it all just a game for him, to see how far he could go with you?

A little notch on his belt of conquests.

But, Karma's a bitch, right? Wrong. I mean, yes, Karma is gona get them but if we say we're happy for someone then we should be happy purely and truly from the heart. You can't say you're happy and at the same time be longing for the day he “gets what's coming to him”. That's hypocritical. And isn’t his hypocrisy the reason you are hating on him in the first place? Don't stoop to his level.

It's good to be full of questions but it's also good to just step back and accept that you have been protected from something far worse. If he quits when the goings good, he'll leave you high and dry when the going's tough. And believe me, the going gets tough! You don't want 'future you' to end up deserted and divorced. As a wise friend recently told me: "Cummon, you need a guy that's stable—mentally!"

Unless you’re completely bipolar, it’s gona take a while before you fully move on. So don’t worry if you’re missing him. It changes daily. One day you’re strong, the next day fragile. Be patient. Distract yourself. Trust in God. Exercise self-love.

I signed up for a Bikram Yoga class. Even before the “drama” happened. I had a feeling it was going to go in that direction and I immediately took action. I needed a diversion—a way to separate myself from the severity of the outside world. 

The great thing about the instructor is that when a new student comes, he or she makes it a point to remember their name; which made me feel included and not overwhelmed with attention. 

I wasn’t really familiar with some of the rules, like no drinking water when people are balancing. You’re also not allowed to drink water before the first water break (25 minutes in). It’s all about self-restraint and self-control. The heat completely caught me off guard. I didn’t expect it to be that intense. For a person who usually never sweats, I was drenched in less than 15 minutes. I found the savasanas between poses annoying and hate turning around and laying on my back for a few seconds, only to quickly get back up again to do the next pose. It’s supposed to energize you but it seems to have the opposite effect on me. Also, I'm asthmatic and the feeling of suffocation was overpowering. But the instructor gave my Ventolin pumps the daggers and told me if I keep attending, I wouldn't need them anymore.

In those one and a half hours, I’m so in tune with my body. All my concentration goes into executing the postures to the best of my ability. You leave everything behind when you step into the room and when you walk out, you’re calmer, relaxed and everything in life is less complicated.

I definitely recommend it!

P.S. Not just for the single peeps! It’s very sensual too. Do it as a couple! ;)

Keep reading.

Vers Libre...

(my own work)

It's so difficult not to say I miss you.

I do.

There's a twist in my gut.

Disappointment, in myself.

For not being good enough.

Can't think of what I did wrong (tears clogging up my brain).

Feel so inadequate. And embarrassed.

Going insane.

Maybe not as intellectual as you'd prefer.

Is that it?

But I am who I am and I try.

In my own way, bound with wisdom.

I was taught with life, not with books.

It's not like I can't learn.

I'm learning.

I learn.

Know the extent of your ignorance.

"Information is not knowledge.

Knowledge is experience.

Imagination is more important."

Albert Einstein.

See?

Yet...

Sigh!

Hate: leaving you wanting more.

And the feeling of fatuity.

And the fear of falling short.

Hate the awkwardness now.

When all I want to do is tell you how much I miss you.

Heart wrenching, soul ripping, body aching, want.

Want to be me.

Want to be sufficient.

Accept me wholly, fully, completely.

As I am.

For who I am.

Or don't accept me at all—I guess that's what you did.

You can't fire me - I quit

"And in that instant with him gone, I could feel myself dizzy with fear, sinking down into the most horrible blackness..."

"You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be."

"Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and its sucked every second so far, it probably isn't gonna get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early."

"Every man has the right to risk his own life in order to preserve it. Has it ever been said that a man who throws himself out the window to escape from a fire is guilty of suicide?"

is the lesson ever really learnt?

(not my own work)

"I remember years ago, Someone told me I should take, Caution when it comes to love, I did... And you were strong and I was not, My illusion, my mistake, I was careless, I forgot, I did. And now when all is done, There is nothing to say, You have gone and so effortlessly, You have won. You can go ahead, tell them, Tell them all I know now, Shout it from the roof tops, Write it on the sky line, All we had is gone now. Tell them I was happy, And my heart is broken, All my scars are open, Tell them what I hoped would be Impossible... Falling out of love is hard, Falling for betrayal is worst, Broken trust and broken hearts, I know... Thinking all you need is there, Building faith on love and words, Empty promises will wear, I know. And now when all is gone, There is nothing to say, And if you're done with embarrassing me, On your own you can go ahead, tell them..."

"Your heart is not open so I must go
The spell has been broken, I loved you so
Freedom comes when you learn to let go
Creation comes when you learn to say no

You were my lesson I had to learn
I was your fortress you had to burn
Pain is a warning that something's wrong
I pray to God that it won't be long
Do ya wanna go higher?

There's nothing left to try
There's no place left to hide
There's nothing left to lose
There's no more heart to bruise
There's no greater power
Than the power of good-bye

I have to learn to say good-bye."

silence is a killer

“In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

I guess you meet some people only to learn a valuable lesson from them and then it’s time for them to leave. Although it results in you being quite dumbfounded at their disappearance, you have to salvage as much as you can from what’s left behind. I was taught self-worth and I’ll keep that lesson with me always.

“Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.” ~Dr. Seuss

The weather reflects my inner emotions quite well. Cold, cloudy and raining. Cause? Abandoned with half a million questions and no answers. When you’re left with no explanations, your mind seems to drown in it’s own assumptions. But I remind myself that all was well before and all will be well after. No use overthinking everything.

“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know.” ~Dr. Seuss

I’ve been through more difficulties than one person can endure and I’m skilled at picking up the pieces and moving on. No use wasting your “whats and whys” on selfish, inconsiderate people. And don’t allow them the sick satisfaction of hurting you. Accept that this is what’s meant to be. As the cliché goes: everything happens for a reason. And it really does.

I’m so done. And now I can openly say: NOBODY MESS WITH ME.

“I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat. I'm all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!” ~Dr. Seuss

Keep reading.

"Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning." ~Orrin Hatch

Well congratulations are in order!!! You’re looking and the newest graduate of Fish Publishing Course!!! Received my certificate today and so proud :) Achieved my goal of two qualifications in one year. SA Writer’s College was the first and now this one! Have learnt a lot and am definitely ready to start writing my novel. Just have to find the time! Too much going on in life at the moment. Which is also the reason I’ve been so scarce. As soon as everything is back in order I’m going to enjoy my accomplishment.

“The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.”  ~Aristotle

Keep reading.

Why Men Are Like Computers

12. Some of them are hard to figure out.

11. They're supposed to help you solve problems but half the time they are the problem.

10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shiny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. They're only good when it comes to playing games.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on but nobody's home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter

E=MC^2

I may be tooting my own horn here but Albert Einstein and I have a very similar thought process. Haha. Well atleast I think the way he thought.

“A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?”

Knowledge and Experience:

Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.

Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death.

Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.

I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination.

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
Information is not knowledge.
The only source of knowledge is experience.

Imagination is more important than knowledge.

We should take care not to make the intellect our core; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.

To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination

When I examine myself and my methods of thought, I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy has meant more to me than any talent for abstract, positive thinking.

The only real valuable thing is intuition.

People:

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.

Anyone who doesn't take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.

Everyone should be respected as an individual, but no one idolized.

Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

War and Peace:

Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism - how passionately I hate them!

I am not only a pacifist but a militant pacifist. I am willing to fight for peace. Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war.

Force always attracts men of low morality.

Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.

The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it.

Life:

When the solution is simple, God is answering.

Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.

A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.

Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted.

He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.

He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice.

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Never do anything against conscience even if the state demands it.

We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.

Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.

Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
Things should be made as simple as possible, but not any simpler.

Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else.

So perhaps I'll be making a great discovery of some sort? Full of theories :P

Keep reading.

three things...

This is something my Dad wrote to me the day I graduated.

3 things in life once gone never return...
- Words
- Opportunity
- Time

3 things in life are never sure...
- Dreams
- Success
- Fortune

3 things in life that make you a great person...
- Hard work
- Sincerety
- Passion

3 things in life are most valuable...
- Love
- Self respect

- Friends

Save this list and never forget.

Think he was onto something here. Good advice Dad.

Keep Reading.

"It's all down to you, mate." ~John Lennon

I think I’m someone who dwells on the past. Well maybe dwell isn’t the right word. It’s more like, whatever mistakes I made I never forget them. I learnt lessons that changed me in every way possible. Some experiences have completely changed the way I think.

In the past year I’ve definitely become more “liberal” in certain aspects of my life. I had accepted that the way I thought before was self-destructive. I was naïve and took everything seriously. Being carefree and laid back is actually very exhilarating. The little things don’t get me down and the disappointments are definitely fewer.

But I met someone whose reasoning is like that of my former self and it has made me realize something. Yes, it was fine to be less rigorous about minor matters but when it comes to morals and values and boundaries you set for yourself, I don’t think others should influence you. Especially if they want you to sacrifice those principles. Just because they are immoral and depraved, doesn’t mean you have to be.

This someone showed me there are people out there who will not only see eye to eye with you, but will also love and respect you for what you believe in.

I like being happy-go-lucky and relaxed- it really is exhausting to take everything seriously- but now I know if I get an ill feeling in my gut, I should consider if the issue’s worth taking lightheartedly.

“Mercy to living beings, self restraint, truth, honesty, chastity and contentment, right faith and knowledge, and austerity are but the entourage of morality.” ~Sila-Prabhrita

To this someone who made me realize that there was never anything wrong with the way I was, thank you. Even though you’re totally oblivious to the fact that you’ve helped me in such an extraordinary way, I hope someday to repay you.

“…you should never compromise who you are, your values or your morals.” ~Talib Kweli

Don’t forfeit yourself to please anyone.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." ~Dr. Seuss

Love and respect yourself first! Let them think what they want.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

If anyone puts you down for being a self respecting, honourable person kindly tell him or her to fuck off. There it is. Crude, but to the point. I don’t want people to take advantage of any of you darlings!

Send them my way; I’ll fix ‘em up.

Keep reading.

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." ~Soren Kierkegaard

“Life would be great if it were backwards.

You'd start out dead and get it out of the way.

Then, wake up in an old age home feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy; go collect your pension, then
when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day.

You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.

You drink alcohol, you party, you're generally promiscuous and you get
ready for High School.

You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no
responsibilities, you become a baby, and then...

You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like
conditions; central heating, room service on tap, larger quarters every
day.

And then, you finish off as an orgasm.

I rest my case.” ~Woody Allen/George Carlin

I think this is hilarious! And so accurate. Makes you wonder why it isn’t that way for real. Life is tough and it ends in death. Where’s the sense in that? But it is what it is and we have to keep on keeping on. As the situation is one that is moving forward, don’t dwell on the past. More on this soon.

“Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies.” ~Ann Landers

Keep reading.

fire in my heart, peace in my mind...

Have I ever mentioned that I’m a hopeless romantic? Cheesy lines, corny movies, clichéd scenarios, Valentines, romance novels—I love it all! It’s even apparent in my short stories. All very Mills&Boons hahaha.

“Romance has been elegantly defined as the offspring of fiction and love.” -Benjamin Disraeli

I’m a sap in the true sense of the word and I don’t know when or how I was suckered into it. It’s a world flowing with love notes, whispers of sweet nothings, holding hands, hugs, kisses, candlelight dinners, flowers, picnics, song dedications, serenades and most of all: loads of attention.

You can cringe now, but when it happens, it makes you feel all warm and tingly inside. It’s very flattering.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not a materialistic girl. For me all the little things count. One rose says more than a dozen. No money in the world can compare to a snug hug. I guess I’m very old school at heart. I’ll choose hours of cuddling over a gift any day.

“He believes in romance. He isn't merely going through the mechanical movements of a man in an exciting situation. He is, vitally and positively squeezing the last drop of delight from living the best life he knows in the best way he can.” ~Leslie Charteris

A small thing, in which a lot of thought went into, can make you feel more special than all the banal presents money can buy. And again I’d choose that over anything off the shelf.

“It's the thought that counts, but thoughtfulness that makes a lasting gift.”

A call, a compliment, a promise kept. Respect, commitment, kindness. Those are the kinda things that should matter. My sisters laugh at me and tell me I make them gag, but inside I know they love it too. Romance just stirs something up in your heart.

I love love!

“I love romance. I'm a sucker for it. I love it so much. It's pathetic.” ~Drew Barrymore

What’s the cheesiest thing you guys have ever done?

Keep reading.

Oh the powers of nature. She knows what we need, and the doctors know nothing. ~Benvenuto Cellini

As I am too preoccupied with stuffing tissues up my nose, my blog entry will be short and to the point today. Cursed with the flu at the most inconvenient time. Very busy weekend as usual. The lethargy was most problematic. And I refuse to take any more meds. Literally felt the lining of my stomach burning away. It’s just not natural to be intoxicating your body with all that crap. What you need is a warm bed, a good movie and a nice big hug. Otherwise stick to organic home remedies. The lady at the airport suggests chewing ginger. I’m not prepared to try it though. Haha. Anyone willing to volunteer?

“The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while Nature affects the cure.” ~Voltaire

“Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents.” ~Peter Mere Latham

“He's the best physician that knows the worthlessness of most medicines.” ~Benjamin Franklin

“A Short History of Medicine
2000 B.C. - "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C. - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 A.D. - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 A.D. - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 A.D. - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 A.D. - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root."” ~Author Unknown

I have some good news. My module has been completed and submitted. The relief is inexplicable. I cant wait for the competition results now.

Take care of yourselves.

Keep reading.

struck

"They say lightning never strikes twice, but that is a myth. It doesn't happen often, lightning usually gets it right the first time. When you're hit with 30,000 amps of electricity you feel it. It can make you forget who you are. It can burn you, blind you, stop your heart. And cause massive internal injuries. But, for something that happens in only a millisecond, it can change your life forever. Lightning doesn't often strike twice. It's a once in a lifetime thing. Even if it feels like the shock is coming over and over again. Eventually the pain will go away, the shock will wear off. And you start to heal yourself. To recover from something you never saw coming. But, sometimes the odds are in your favour. If you're in just the right place at just the right time you can take a helluva hit. And still have a shot at surviving." ~Grey's Anatomy

Lightning is alot like love.

Keep reading.

love and other disasters

rolled on the floor and laughed at this one. aah! love these whimsical movies!

"The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. Stage one is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy, 

"Ooh, did you fart,"

followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. A period I like to call the "Fart Honeymoon", where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world. But, of course, no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass thereby signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved. Do you see what I'm getting at?"

and here's something a little more wiser.

"Have you ever thought this whole ‘True Love’ thing might be a conspiracy? A capitalist conspiracy. A lie concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music industries. All pushing this thing, this concept that doesn’t even exist! Well, think about it. Where is it besides songs, books and films? I mean who can honestly say ‘I will always love you’? The point is everyone’s miserable because they’re looking for this nonexistent thing, or else they’re miserable because they think they’ve settled for less.

If true love is not real, then we are screwed. Because we have been fed with the love illusion since we dig for books, movies and songs. On the other hand, it might not be the only thing that is concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music. After all, we are not searching for truth or reality in these stuff. Maybe it would provide a peek of truth. But the real truth is how we feel and what we believe in. Your decision is what you are."

"Stop living your life like you're in some kind of movie. Stop trying to cast your love instead of just meeting him. Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know? Maybe sometimes it's just a choice. Maybe true love is a decision. You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody. To give to somebody. Without worrying whether they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you, or if they really are the one. Maybe love isn't something that happens to you. Maybe it's something you have to choose. You could start by putting all of those fantasies of true love where they belong, into your work of fiction."

Good watch for a silly day.
Keep reading. 

before i die...

*Learn to do a Cartwheel                   *Swim with a dolphin.

*See a Shooting Star

*Dance in the rain                                                             *Scuba dive

*Learn to speak a foreign language                                   *Travel to the moon     

                                                *Learn to play the piano

*Write a novel and get it published                
                                                           *Experience zero gravity

*Shower in a waterfall.

*Sleep under the stars                  *See/touch snow (and play in it) 
                                *See snow at the ocean

*Visit the Holy Land.

      *Bungee                                              *Travel the world

*Take a road trip            *Learn to sail           
                                                    *Go on a cruise                                         *Fly in a helicopter                                                                              *Parasail

          *Learn sign language                      *Experience dark dining
               *Go Trick or Treating               *Take part in a reality show
          *Spend time/Work with the blind/deaf/disabled/elderly

*Plant a tree (somewhere I can watch it grow)

These are just things I want to do before I "kick the bucket". They aren't in any specific order. Some are silly, some are serious, all are sincere. I'm not sure if I got them all down. But there you go. There's no time to waste. Who's with me?

Keep reading.

To her the name of father was another name for love. ~Fanny Fern

It’s Daddy’s birthday! So of course today’s post is dedicated to him and all fathers.

I don’t know how it is with you guys but the bond I have with my father isn’t a strong one. In fact, before I joined the family business, my relationship with him was almost nothing. I have my reasons for being detached (personal and private) but I’ve slowly learnt that there’s so much to appreciate about him. 

“That is the thankless position of the father in the family-the provider for all, and the enemy of all.” ~J. August Strindberg

If I put all my “issues” aside I realise how many things I have to be grateful to him for. He brought us to this country for our education. He fed us, clothed us, put a roof over our heads. He started with nothing and gave us everything.

“I've had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing against the hardships that my father went through in order to get me to where I started.” ~Bartrand Hubbard

He sent us to University despite the disapproval of our bigoted and narrow minded extended family.

“Those who trust us educate us.” ~ T. S. Eliot

We’re so blinded by what we don’t have that we don’t see how much we do. He gave us opportunities other people can only dream about. Yes, he’s harsh. Yes, he doesn’t spoil us. But every decision has a lot of wisdom behind it and I’m glad I was brought up the way I was.

“Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.”  ~Author Unknown

He’s given us freedom with boundaries, knowledge with trust, lessons with wisdom. He didn’t confine nor oppress nor hold us back. His faith in us is fortifying and empowering and therefore it’s something we work hard not to betray.

As I grow older, it scares me to think that Daddy won’t always be there for us to rely on. We’ll be lost without him, without his advice, his insight and his good judgement. As tempestuous as our relationship is, even the thought of losing him makes me uneasy.

“A father is someone you look up to no matter how tall you grow.”  ~ Author Unknown

“We don't know what we've got until it's gone...”

I was shown the value of a father by understanding what it’s like to lose one. I will not make the silly mistake of waiting till it’s too late.

Daddy, you are the glue that holds us together, and the oil that keeps us from rubbing each other the wrong way. Happy Birthday. May we be blessed with many more years with you, May you impart your oodles of knowledge onto us and May we always be the coolness of your eyes. Oh and please don’t buy any more TV screens. They’re coming outa my ears lol :)

Keep reading.

doo-wops & hooligans....

I have one hooligan outside who won't stop blasting Bruno Mars music in his car.

And now I can't get the songs outa my head.

"If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you. If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, I'll be the light to guide you. If you're tossin' and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep, I'll sing a song beside you. And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me, everyday I will remind you. You'll always have my shoulder when you cry, I'll never let go, never say goodbye. We find out what we're made of, when we are called to help our friends in need. You can count on me like 1, 2, 3, I'll be there. And I know when I need it, I can count on you like 4, 3, 2 and you'll be there. 'Cause that's what friends are supposed to do. You can count on me 'cause I can count on you." 

And my favourite.

"First rule: Never let them change you.

Rule two: Do you, to the fullest and never be ashamed to. You’re just good at what they can’t do. And they hate that. They wana paint you in their colour—put you in another. What they don’t accept and what they don’t see, the best thing is what you already be.

When I see your face there's not a thing that I would change. 'Cause you're amazing, just the way you are. And when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while. You know I'd never ask you to change. If perfect's what you're searching for then just stay the same. So don't even bother asking if you look okay 'cause you know what I'll say.” 

How did I end up surrendering to this? Lol. Sucker for romance :)

Keep reading. 

laughter or tears?

"Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion . . . . I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward." ~Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

It’s been an ongoing cycle of chaos, frenzy, mental and physical work to the point of collapsing, pandemonium these past six weeks. Cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing, working, writing.

I don’t mind it all but I’m completely stressed out about the final module—which I STILL have not submitted—and now would be a good time to just have some tranquility to concentrate on it.

At least now I know the responsibility of having a 6-8-member family. And no domestic worker to speak of!!! Let me tell you something. Nothing will turn you vegetarian faster than cutting and cleaning a chicken.

So I’m staring blankly at the screen, my mind absorbed in the 500 hundred other things I have to get done. I didn’t even have time to have breakfast today (nor for the past three mornings). And it would totally help if some things just fell into place instead of requiring so much attention! But, I remember this quote I read the other day:

“If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.”  ~Anthony J. D'Angelo

So I guess I better make a list and get to it all.

Keep reading.

Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance.

Probably the best thing that I taught myself was something I read in a Cosmo magazine many, many years ago.

“Illegitimi non carborundum”

And it has by far surpassed any other advice I’ve followed. Sometimes in life we learn things the hard way. You realize that the only person you can truly rely on is: yourself.

Life is what you make it, always has been, always will be. Realize that true happiness lies within you. At your fingertips.

The keywords being: you, your, yourself.  

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent

La vida es una buena aventura. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Place yourself on a pedestal. Because you deserve it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I’m not telling you to disregard everybody around you. I’m telling you to love yourself. Close your eyes to those who aim to bring you down. A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. Count your blessings not your problems. A crumpled R200 note is still worth R200. In the same way, as crumpled as we feel, we will never ever lose our value. Put some good energy out there and it’ll come back to you. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.

Keep reading.

Wisdom from Wonderland

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

It takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!

Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are.

This is impossible--Only if you believe it is.  

You can always paint the roses red.

Believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.  

You're not the same as you were before. You were much more..."muchier". You've lost your "muchness".  

The only way to achieve the impossible, is to believe it's possible. 

Who's to say what is "proper"? What if it was agreed that "proper" was wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?  

Keep reading .

Warning! NOT for sensitive readers.

Want know the evil idiosyncrasies of the human body? 

I'll give you four. (Although there are many more.)

Nosebleeds

I don't know why and I never know when. But rest assured it'll happen at the most inopportune moment. Just as you're about to leave for a wedding, or shopping on Main Street in some foreign country, or about to settle down for prayer. Nosebleeds are especially inconvenient when you're up at 5a.m coughing out blood and therefore much too overwhelmed to locate the tissue roll. Being susceptible to these on one too many occasions, I can honestly say, NOT FUN.

Sneezing

Also catches you when least expected. Driving, Eating, Straightening your hair, or whenever you're in a rush, etc. It's okay if it's "Achoo" and over but for me it's a cacophony of sternutations. 6, 7, 8 times in a row. Having hay-fever in a world full of dust is no joke. It also doesn't help that everything stops during a sneeze. No multitasking whilst convulsing, no Sirrie! And the best advice I can give you is never to block one. Sneeze it out y'all or you'll blow a blood vessel in your eye. Yep--I'm talking from experience.

Stretchmarks

God's most devious method of punishing people in this world. That's my opinion anyway.
If God had said: "Thou shalt not sin, or I shalt bestow stretchmarks upon thee" everybody would behave.

This atrocity has no cure, no cover up. They're amending wedding vows and  including it in the liturgy.
"In sickness and in health, stretchmarks and all, till death us do part."

No amount of Tyra-Banks-approved products work on these and neither does Bio Oil. Guess you just have to embrace your body or marry someone blind. Until they find a solution ofcourse.

Eye bags

It's like someone up there said: "Okay dear, your heart's broken, your world's shattered and you've been crying through sleepless nights. Let me make those eyes puffy and throw in some dark circles too. Better yet, let me make them permanent." 

Stick to your facial exercises and use those eye creams- they're not just for old people. 

***

So there they are. Four more things to add to an already teeming pot of stress.

"Why should a man's mind have been thrown into such close, sad, sensational, inexplicable relations with such a precarious object as his body?"  ~Thomas Hardy

My final say on the matter is: Take care of your body, it's the only one you're going to get. 

"Your body is a temple, but only if you treat it as one."  ~Astrid Alauda

Keep reading.