some people still don't believe in global warming...

I had to choose between two groups of friends 2nyt.a night out or a night in.i chose the latter. it was just a little get 2gether nextdoor cuz a friend of ours is goin to america for 6 weeks.our night was filled wit laughter&heart to hearts.two of my friends believe the world is coming to an end.a piece of ice the size of england has broken off iceland.in a few years durban wil hv no beachfront.radiation is killing bees&soon we wil experience a shortage of honey&pollenation.then we talkd bout the unusual phenomena of gay ppl in recent the years.someone askd my sister&i if we knew any gay muslim boys.my sister said she's heard of them but doesnt know any.i exchangd looks wit my bestfriend&turned away.this is a topic i am sensitive to.and i offer no comment.we discussed how unnatural it is&wat the cause cud be.Drugs?Food additives?Subliminal messages?Somethin in the water?i was glad wen the topic soon changed.the real world is dark and scary and i realise i was happier wen i was naive.so u c as much as i go on about truthfulness,sometimes living in an honest world hurts so much.

Hear no evil...

my obsession with honesty has now made me intolerant of other ppls lies.even dishonesty bout menial things gets under my skin.this isn't healthy and i am well aware of the unnecessary problems it causes.but if someone can lie so easily about trivial things or about stuff that they can be honest about then why wud they hesitate to lie about bigger things?especially if it gets them wat they want.The Prophet has said:"I guarantee a place in the middle of paradise for one who abandons lying even when he is joking".nevertheless i should learn to take some things with a pinch of salt.the lack of conscientiousness in the world is too big a burden for my aching shoulders.

recapitulation...

the sound the clock makes is that of a harras of horses galloping in the distance.

i was headed towards my lecture...

i thot i laughed my hardest yesterday but2day proved2b even crazier.best of all it was unplanned&unexpected.met some frnds&we drove around like maniacs.first to fetch someones food.then to find a place2print an assignment an hr b4 deadline.then to hand in the assignment on time.then to rosebank4ice cream.then to UJ to pick up my brother.then to campus.and finally back home.we nearly died several times wen the brother of the gorgeous townhouse owner(remember him?) was drivin.@one point i actually saw a bright light @ the end of a tunnel but it turned out2b a gold bmw. we wr in a tunnel tho. somewhere in between all this chaos i learnt how to tie a tie and i received a ph call from some man in dubai (turned out2b my uncles acquaintance).we've planned similar activities4tomorrow.cuz u know Yesterday is Already a Dream &2moro is Only a Vision,but 2day wel Lived,makes Every Yesterday a Dream of Happiness &Every 2moro a Vision of Hope...

shit happens...

I've got this new clock in my bedroom that makes eerie sounds.they say u should avoid havin noisy things around u wen u sleepin cuz it keeps ur mind active and u're awake subconsciously.so in the morning ur stil exhausted and cant understand y.but i understand y.its that clock!!!! also some bird had serious diarrhea in our front yard.the bird has done its business on mums car,the stoep and twice on my car.ew:( apparently its supposed to be a good sign.i hosed it off.i am not one to go around expecting luck from obscene acts of defecation.

on the seventh day we partied :)

today was up, down and all around for me.the morning shoppin trip proceeded to end only @ lunchtime.got home.showered.armed with my hairbrush and hairdryer,sped off to my sisters place. back @home my brother arrived and the rest of my siblings joined him in my room to hv a chat.this is a rare occurrence cuz we hardly c each other.and the time we spent yappin away was the best part of the day.wen dad arrived we all rushed off to get dressed4supper.August is crazy.the supper was to commemorate 7 special occasions for this month.i neva laughed so hard and so much in such a long time.the food was good and the company beta.our family's the loud and boisterous bunch everyone stares @ in restaurants.i swear i wouldn't want it any other way.

robbed of all my senses...

reading this magazine and the prediction of my current love life is as follows (my comments in brackets): apparently i am supposed to meet a guy who happens to be one of the most complicated men around (:O but whyyy??). he's smart (hopefully mature) and sensitive (secretly gay?) and charming (PLAYA), but can seem arrogant wen he feels insecure (or he doesn't get his way). he's generally too shy to make a move (but men are born to do this. C'MON!) so he may initially opt to be 'just friends' with me (frustrating). hmm wat else? oh yes. altho he likes to look 'in charge' (like a manly man is suppose to:D ), this man really wants a gutsy girl to call the shots (i wear the pants? nice!!). So, if he makes a move (one could only hope), i must make sure to boost his ego (i must WHAT? uh OOPS. already failed. o_O) umm my bad experiences hv made me prudent. sowi

guilt trip...

My mum asked me2accompany her4some walk in mayfair west/crosby this afternoon.she pulled one of those i'll-make-u-feel-guilty stunts all mothers know how2do so well and i ofcourse fell prey to it (this is how i end up cooking supper on weekends). five kids but i'm the weak one tsk tsk. i hv this rule. If someone asks me2go somewhere with them. like as soon as they start beggin or tryin2convince me2go then i get off my hiney and go.cuz every single time that happens and i dnt end up goin wherever it is they ask me to go i ALWAYS regret it. something always happens to make me regret not goin. and i kick myself thinkin bout how they wr beggin and i said no but if only i jus went. AAAAAAH! ...so thats y i jus go. u neva hv to ask more than twice lol. anyway the walk was @ jisa on jamestown. next week they walkin around the neighborhood. i wnt go. too many boys i know live VERY closeby (the adjacent streets infact :o ). i dnt wish to be spotted.

the sad happy ending...

u cannot tel the sun "more" or the rain "less". i was enthralled and lost in the Memoirs of a Geisha for several hours this evening.sadly but inevitably i had to pull myself together and face reality.i say sadly because u c in reality, wen pumpkin brings the chairman to the poolhouse instead of nobu,thats where the story wud end.everything that happened after wud be ur hopes, falling like leaves from a dying heart.quote unquote.there is no glorious ending,no woman who is a walking work of art.and thats y reality's sad.if my reality is a bit obscure and the actual truth is that we are each destined to hv a glorious story then i guess mine has yet to begin;) til then i'l take all the sun i can get and keep myself dry from the rain.

unscrambling my eggs...

@07h50 this mornin in the parking lot as i was removing myself from my vehicle i was attacked.luckily my assailant was a girlfriend i hadn't seen in ages and not anyone of immediate danger.we jumped up and down and hugged and screamed in excitement @ the sight of each other.and this is how i ended up havin breakfast in the most gorgeous townhouse with an amazing view. basically my friend's friend has a cousin who owns a townhouse. the cousin is away for a week but her brother is stayin there whilst she's away. So me, my friend and my friend's friend went to visit him. uh...anyway! thats also how i ended up being the one making the breakfast@11h00 in a strangers kitchen (the others r not so...uh... domesticated lol). but still everythin was breathtaking. this lil adventure was exactly wat i needed cuz altho i am physically exhausted (there wr alot of dishes2wash), i am mentally pumped! PLUS i made a new friend:)-the brother of the owner of a gorgeous townhouse. sigh and all this in one mornin!

and then! there was light...

a few weeks ago in the democratic republic of congo a couple decided to take four neighborhood kids along with them and their child for a day to the local lake area.wat promised to be an exciting trip turned into a tragic nightmare- when enroute they met in a horrific accident instantly killing the man and two of the children.the man's wife and child were unharmed.but unfortunately the same could not be said for the remaining two passengers-a 15 year old girl and a boy whose sister was one of the three who died on impact.both wr in critical condition.back home here in SA on hearin of the accident, dad made us hastily phone around for air ambulances to airlift the two children to a hospital near us.in congo they dnt hv facilities to treat patients in these conditions.wen the patients arrived the situation got worse.sunninghill hospital refused to take them in.the unfriendly ruthless staff demanded upfront payment before any procedures took place.almost a hundred thousand rand snatched from us for jus one night.-sunninghill with its big name and staff with no shame wasn't an option anymore.frantically searching for another hospital dad eventually found LENMED.the staff were warm and helpful and everythin sunninghill staff weren't.as the story spread here and in congo ppl donated thousands.even the doctors at lenmed reduced their fees.the boy underwent two operations and is recovering.he's back in congo with his family.the girl had no physical injuries but was in a coma in icu.last week she opened her eyes.the doctors who wr ready to give up the week before are now whisperin about the miracle they are witnessing.she's not speakin as yet and slips into momentary lapses now and again but other than that her recovery is fast and phenomenal.my dad and sometimes my mum have been goin in to see them almost every day.last night i went for the first time. it really is an eye opener.i've been feeling down over some loser who has the personality of a garden spade.and infront of me lay a gal with dozens of tubes attached to her.and her mother is by her side teaching her to move her fingers and blink her eyes,willing her to speak just one word.i dnt know how my dad witnesses this everyday for more than three weeks.ten minutes there and i found it hard to breath properly.i learnt my lesson.one person can change ur life.make sure ur changing for the right one.

Speak no evil...

I don’t lie. It started a few years back at that time of the year when resolutions are made. I pledged to myself (and my diary) that I would stop lying immediately. Now don’t get me wrong. I wasn't a compulsive liar or anything. Like everyone else, I told the little white lie now and again, and, when and if the situation required it I told a bigger lie. But now I wanted to stop even that. No small lies. No big lies. None. Nothing. Nada. 

You see the way I looked at it is that no matter when, where or why, someday; somehow the truth ALWAYS comes out. That's God. Karma. Nature. The preordained justice of the Universe. And who can question that? So whether it comes out in a day, a week, a year or even 10 years when it no longer matters, the truth always seeps its way out. So why lie?

Anyway, now, few years down the line, I find it unbearable to tell fibs about even the most inconsequential things.

Ofcourse ppl won’t believe u when u say that u don’t lie. Cuz everybody does sometimes. I don’t. It’s so much easier not to lie. Cuz speaking the truth means u never have to remember what it is u said to whom. With the truth u never have to substantiate anything u say. And u know if u keep telling ppl the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, soon they actually begin to realize how sincere u r and nobody will question things u say. (It’s great when u need back up in a dispute).

It hurts when ppl don’t believe u when u say something, and they question ur genuineness, especially when u've never given them reason to doubt u. but like I said, the truth seeps out. I mean look at what (God, Karma, Nature) u have to back u up! And when they realise u wr honest all along and they wr wrong, u get an apology, a hug and maybe even a super guilt-gift!!!! Hehe.

This is how I wana be remembered. Not pretty, ugly, short, clever, silly or funny. I wana be remembered for my honesty. So praise me for that. Cuz that's the best compliment I could ever receive. Honestly:D

foolishness ceases to fail...

the black cloud seems to hv descended and has now created a storm in my heart.i hv obviously realised there is only one person that can umbrella my anguish.the very same person who caused it.this afternoon i found the house just fine.it was lunch that left me disappointed.normally the loud and happy one,i was dull and withdrawn.answering my friends questions with as little vigour and words possible and not contributing to the get together in any memorable way.infact the entire thing was forgetful.it was prob the result of an error in my choice of company but it was me as well.as we said our goodbyes someone even commented on how very quiet i was.it even left me wonderin what happened to my zealous demeanour and whether i actually had one to begin with...i hv also realised that the only therapy i need is from within and not from shoppin or the gals.i've realised it- but have no idea wat to do now.

who is this fool that passes? tis i...

stil feeling quite sheepish from wednesday night.mind stil wanderin and heart all fluttery with regret.yesterday the therapeutic shopping wasn't successful.infact it seemed to darken my black cloud of despair.today however, glistens with hope of a different kinda therapy altogether.lunch with the girls.its happening somewhere in crosby/mayfair west.living down the road doesn't stop me from gettin hopelessly lost in the neighbourhood.skilled navigation and experience is essential to get to any street thats NOT linked to mercury.i'm not in the appropriate frame of mind to be intuitive so pls God let me find it easily.haha.u are supposed to pray to God for direction right? laters lecture over and i hv to leave.

**missing post**